Chicago Cubs: A devoted fan’s 65 Theses

Chicago Cubs (Kamil Krzaczynski-USA TODAY Sports)
Chicago Cubs (Kamil Krzaczynski-USA TODAY Sports) /

It’s been a rough few years for Chicago Cubs fans who no doubt have a few things to say to the organization, owners and players. Here is a Cubs fan’s 65 theses (because honestly, who has time to read 95?)

With the departure of beloved figures in the Chicago Cubs organization like play-by-play announcer Len Kasper, President of Baseball Operations Theo Epstein and players like Yu Darvish, Victor Caratini and Kyle Schwarber, it’s been a tough year for Cubs fans already.

Throw in the madness that is 2020 and there’s certainly a grocery list of items that fans need to get off their chest.

We thought we’d take the time to put together a list of a Cubs fan’s 65 Theses. It’s everything from random thoughts to observations to demands from ownership. And of course, we say this with love and devotion to the team and players who bring us so much joy and memories with loved ones.

Without further ado, here is a Cubs fan’s 65 Theses.

I.       To win a championship, you must spend money.

II.      What you earn for winning a championship is far better than a few million saved in allowing the team to struggle.

III.    Purchasing the Chicago Cubs is not a one-time purchase. It is an investment.

IV.    Wrigley Field was fine how it was prior to the renovations. By agreeing to update the stadium and allow ads, the purpose was to use that money for players; not the owner.

V.     There would be no money to be made if not for fans or the employees and players.

VI.    Thank you for the 2016 World Series and for breaking the curse. But one World Series isn’t enough.

VII.  The Marquee commentators should not be in a shirt and tie. This is a 2021 baseball game, not an 18th century funeral.

VIII. The team was purchased for $900 million. It is not valued at $3.2 billion. There is plenty of money to be spent.

IX.    Anthony Rizzo should be a Chicago Cub for life.

X.      Javier Baez deserves an extension.

XI.    Sammy Sosa’s number should be retired. No disrespect to the likes of Junior Lake or Tyler Chatwood, but that number should have stopped at Slammin’ Sammy.

XII.   Steve Bartman should be brought back to Wrigley and every fan from 2003 should apologize to him directly.

XIII. Fergie Jenkins should have a statue outside Wrigley Field.

XIV. Regardless of the alcohol partnerships, Old Style should always be available at Wrigley Field.

XV.  Each year, the Cubs should broadcast at least one game on WGNTV.

XVI.  Pat Hughes should be allowed to retire with the Chicago Cubs if he chooses to.

XVII. The owners should make themselves available at the Cubs Convention every year, whether the offseason has been successful or not.

XVIII. The Cubs should have been in at least one more World Series with the 2016 core. The money just wasn’t spent and the issues were ignored for three straight seasons.

XIX. If you need to rebuild, just be honest about it. Cubs fans were on board in 2010 when the rebuild began. We will be again when it’s time.

XX.   Don’t lie to Cubs fans. If you’re planning to rebuild, don’t say that you don’t need to.

XXI. In due time, Theo Epstein should have a statue or flag flying at Wrigley Field.

XXII. Never forget that the Cubs are what they are because of the fans. Especially the loyal ones for years.

XXIII. By saving money now, you’re losing it in the future when the team is struggling with no direction.

XXIV. The NL Central is not a good division right now. This is a better time than ever to try to contend for the playoffs.

XXV. Chicago fans already have to deal with the Chicago Bears losing to the Green Bay Packers every year. Please don’t let that happen with the Cubs and St. Louis Cardinals.

XXVI. If you trade a player, call him before it shows up on Twitter.

XXVII. There should only be two broadcasters during a game. We don’t need a bunch of extra people bringing in fluff content.

XXVIII. Len Kasper’s replacement shouldn’t be rushed. Find someone who truly cares about this team.

XXIX. Tickets should always be affordable for everyone. Don’t price out fans, especially the die-hards.

XXX. If the team is struggling, the ticket price should reflect it.

XXXI. Just a reminder that the Chicago White Sox have a much better future than the Chicago Cubs.

XXXII. Everyone should be able to watch the Cubs on TV, regardless of their TV provider.

XXXIII. Television money is only temporary if you alienate the fanbase. There will be no viewers if you don’t give them a reason to watch.

XXXIV. The Cubs can contend in 2021 if given the proper tools and moves.

XXXV. This core deserves one more shot at a title before it’s broken up. The front office owes it to the players who brought them the championship.

XXXVI. The fans also deserve one more shot, especially after this awful year.

XXXVII. Wrigley Field should be the home of the Cubs for the rest of the franchise’s history.

XXXVIII. The players put their lives on the line during a pandemic every day. They deserve to be fairly compensated by their employers for it.

XXXIX. Cubs fans understand that not every year will be successful. But every year should be a step towards becoming more successful.

XL. The fact that Theo Epstein and Len Kasper left when the 2016 core was still mainly intact is extremely telling. That says a lot about the team’s state and direction.

XLI. There are Cubs fans all over the country and world. Marquee Network should be available everywhere in the country, and not just for game broadcasts.

XLII. *Cough cough* making Marquee Network available to more people can bring in more money.

XLIII. Don’t ever change the name of Wrigley Field for sponsorship reasons. Unless it’s sponsored by Wrigley Gum.

XLIV. The Ricketts didn’t have to pay for another drink in Chicago for the rest of their lives after the 2016 season. They do now. That’s not a good financial decision.

XLV. Malort should be available at Wrigley Field. Just make sure to limit the amount of purchases.

XLVI. Please find a way to make beer available again after the 12th inning.

XLVII.  Ketchup should not be an option when ordering hot dogs at Wrigley Field. Ever.

XLVIII. It wouldn’t be the worst idea to put a Portillo’s in one of the buildings outside Wrigley Field.

XLIX. The Chicago Cubs made it to the World Series six years into a World War. Don’t use one year of a pandemic as an excuse for mediocrity.

L. Yu Darvish and Victor Caratini are worth far more than few minor leaguers that have never played Minor League Baseball.

LI. That being said, welcome to the five players acquired in the trade for Darvish and Caratini. We wish you much success and nothing but the best.

LII.  Cubs fans understand that the core is going to change in the future. Just make sure that the decisions and moves aren’t an insult to the players or fans.

LIII.  Not all publicity is good publicity. Just because fans are talking on social media doesn’t mean it’s a good thing.

LIV. The rooftops are intertwined in the culture and history of the Cubs. Don’t hurt them anymore.

LV.   Speaking of social media, the Cubs have one of the best social media and audio/visual departments in all of sports. Well done. Here’s to hoping that it stays that way.

LVI.  A Cubs museum may not be the worst idea.

LVII. Joe Maddon should be welcome back at Wrigley Field any time he wants to come back. He should have something in his honor at Wrigley (once he retires from baseball).

LVIII. If you can afford to give the San Diego Padres $3 million for them to have the 2020 NL Cy Young runner-up on their roster, you can afford to pay some players in a Cubs uniform.

LIX. With Darvish’s contract being almost completely off the books, that money could certainly go to a one Jon Lester.

LX.   Don’t get rid of the bathroom troughs. Those things are more efficient than a drive-thru.

LXI. Get some more women’s restrooms at Wrigley. That line looks AWFUL.

LXII. Bring back the red-billed Cubs hats from the 1990s.

LXIII. “Go Cubs Go” should be played at Wrigley Field permanently after victories. Don’t get rid of it after this regime or core departs.

LXIV. Please do everything you can to ensure that the bars and atmosphere around Wrigley stay the same for years to come. Murphy’s, the Cubby Bear, Bernie’s…they deserve to be supported and kept around.

Related Story. Yu Darvish trade not great for the Cubs. light

LXV. The Chicago Cubs won the 2016 World Series and for many, the party is still going. But we could use some fresh champagne and an updated banner. Let’s go win another World Series. Go Cubbies!