Chicago Bears: Week 10 awards that totally make sense

Cody Parkey couldn’t do it again. No one could. We should appreciate it.

If he wasn’t so serious, and football not so serious, Cody Parkey could have played it off as a bar bet. “Well we had the game won so I thought that no one has ever hit an upright four times in a game. Any guy can make three field goals in a game. Remember their names? Of course not! But will you ever forget my four thuds in a game? You bet your sweet bippy you won’t!”

And yes, I fully expect Parkey to say, “bippy.”

Because Bears fans can’t have nice things, his four misses led a lot of them to miss the point that the Bears had their first division win in five seasons. It led them to miss that they’re still in first, and really damn close to a playoff spot considering what’s still on the schedule. Some men you just can’t reach.

But come on, he hit the upright four times! That’s impossible! He’s Tin Cup of football! Does that mean he’ll miss an important kick in December or January to determine the Bears’ fate? Maybe? I don’t think anyone knows. The guys who are hitting kicks to win games every week, how many had you heard of before that kick? Like four? These guys come from everywhere.

One day soon, when the Bears are parading down Michigan Avenue with a certain piece of silverware, Parkey’s four-“thuuunk” day will only make that sweeter. It’ll make the journey even weirder and more vivid. You’ll remember where you were. It’s decoration.

And no, I don’t think kicking by himself in Soldier Field on a Thursday afternoon is going to make a difference. They have wind in Lake Forest, too. Unless the residents there have paid to have it removed. They can afford to do so.