Chicago Bears: These quarterbacks have made us who we are

(Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)
(Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images) /
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Jim Miller Chicago Bears
(Getty Images) /

You have to list them together, because somehow between the two of them they came up with a 13-3 season, proving once again the gods do have a sense of humor. Or, every so often they take too many drugs and strange things happen merely to entertain them in their altered state.

You come up with a better explanation for why Jim Miller put together a couple 400-yard games.

While I’m starting to see gremlins after all this, I’m fairly sure Shane Matthews was never supposed to play. I’m fairly sure he never wanted to play. But when Cade McNown was drafted and they were utterly terrified of playing him (with good cause), and the other guy was Jim Miller, they were left with no choice.

Anyway, if you’re sick of immobile quarterbacks with an arm Gumby laughs at, how do you think we feel?

Yeah, again, I’m not sure Miller was supposed to play. But as it became obvious that McNown was a dope and Matthews couldn’t complete anything more than a swing pass, they had no choice. Miller also looked like he strolled in from the tailgate outside, got lost in Soldier Field, and they just threw pads on him. But it actually worked…for like three games.

The thing about Miller and Matthews is that together they would author the Bears miracle 2001 season. Matthews even engineered a couple miracle victories, including one where he threw a Hail Mary to tie the game against the Browns. That is if you can still call it a “Hail Mary” if the ball only traveled 27 yards. We don’t think about it much.

Still, that was a Hail Mary that was caught by James Allen, who was like 4-foot-2. Tell me that season wasn’t a miracle, please. I beg you.